Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Love, love, love
...it isn't all you need, but it sure helps.
Tough times lately - for everyone. Every night, I pray for everyone, even for those who challenge my patience. I'm not ultra-religious or anything, but I think it's nice to send those good thoughts out there. Sending good vibes into the world for another is kinda cathartic. Empathy is so hard to come by nowadays because this economy's got us all thinking about ourselves (rightfully so, to a certain extent). I am certainly guilty of thinking of myself too much. I'm trying to pull back on that.
Now for a law school update. Two more months and the hell that is 1L will be over. I was listening to Jim Rome the other day on the way to work (yes, work), and he said something about the US Hockey team before we were in the Gold Medal game. It wasn't profound, but it hit home. He said, "Don't ASSUME anything. Eyes on the prize. Nothing is guaranteed." So true, Rome. So true.
I love thinking about life in terms of sports. Law school is like a boxing match. When you underestimate your competition, you will likely get schooled. If you give your competition the credit they deserve, you have a fighting chance because you'll show up prepared. Lastly, if you don't believe in yourself - I mean, believe that you deserve to be there - all your preparation will be worthless.
I underestimated my competition last semester. I'm just lucky my grades didn't rip me a new one. Trust that I give them each the credit they deserve now, but in addition, I am giving myself the credit I deserve, too. You have to be fully present in the moment for something to feel real. I'm finally present and ready to work harder than ever. This is IT. This is my shot. YEOWWWWWWWWW
Tough times lately - for everyone. Every night, I pray for everyone, even for those who challenge my patience. I'm not ultra-religious or anything, but I think it's nice to send those good thoughts out there. Sending good vibes into the world for another is kinda cathartic. Empathy is so hard to come by nowadays because this economy's got us all thinking about ourselves (rightfully so, to a certain extent). I am certainly guilty of thinking of myself too much. I'm trying to pull back on that.
Now for a law school update. Two more months and the hell that is 1L will be over. I was listening to Jim Rome the other day on the way to work (yes, work), and he said something about the US Hockey team before we were in the Gold Medal game. It wasn't profound, but it hit home. He said, "Don't ASSUME anything. Eyes on the prize. Nothing is guaranteed." So true, Rome. So true.
I love thinking about life in terms of sports. Law school is like a boxing match. When you underestimate your competition, you will likely get schooled. If you give your competition the credit they deserve, you have a fighting chance because you'll show up prepared. Lastly, if you don't believe in yourself - I mean, believe that you deserve to be there - all your preparation will be worthless.
I underestimated my competition last semester. I'm just lucky my grades didn't rip me a new one. Trust that I give them each the credit they deserve now, but in addition, I am giving myself the credit I deserve, too. You have to be fully present in the moment for something to feel real. I'm finally present and ready to work harder than ever. This is IT. This is my shot. YEOWWWWWWWWW
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Waiting to Exhale
I didn't understand the title to that movie until just now. I just realized how many times a day I hold my breath, whether in anticipation or in frustration or in fear. Not that there's a ton to fear in my world since I am always only in one of four places: school, work, home, or at my mom's house. I don't hold my breath on purpose. It just happens.
Holding my breath kinda gives me a headache. I don't like headaches. It also makes my breathing a bit shallow. It also cuts off oxygen to my brain, which is maybe why I've been a little forgetful (or maybe it's just that I am getting old). What am I waiting for anyway? Maybe that by some miracle, the fog will lift and everything in my world will make complete sense again. But that's not reality - not my reality at least. Fog doesn't just miraculously lift in law school or in marriages or in friendships; you have to wade through it - and I guess that's the point. Things are uncomfortable right now (don't worry, the marriage is fine) and the best thing a person can do in this situation is sit with the discomfort. Tolerate it. Feel it. Accept it without trying to manipulate it or change it. Besides, life wouldn't be as fun if it always made sense. There's no reason to fight it. Now if I could only take my own advice...
Where is this all coming from?? Well, I'll tell you. I'm reading a book called "A Year to Live" by Stephen Levine. It's an experiment of what it would feel like to live a full year like it's your last. It's made me a lot more conscious of how I feel and why I feel it. It has also encouraged me to have a little more compassion and patience for others, and most of all, myself. It's pretty awesome so far, and I'm only on Day 4. I highly recommend it if you're the touchy-feely, emotionally-deep type who likes getting in touch with your inner self. Or if you just wanna try something new.
Holding my breath kinda gives me a headache. I don't like headaches. It also makes my breathing a bit shallow. It also cuts off oxygen to my brain, which is maybe why I've been a little forgetful (or maybe it's just that I am getting old). What am I waiting for anyway? Maybe that by some miracle, the fog will lift and everything in my world will make complete sense again. But that's not reality - not my reality at least. Fog doesn't just miraculously lift in law school or in marriages or in friendships; you have to wade through it - and I guess that's the point. Things are uncomfortable right now (don't worry, the marriage is fine) and the best thing a person can do in this situation is sit with the discomfort. Tolerate it. Feel it. Accept it without trying to manipulate it or change it. Besides, life wouldn't be as fun if it always made sense. There's no reason to fight it. Now if I could only take my own advice...
Where is this all coming from?? Well, I'll tell you. I'm reading a book called "A Year to Live" by Stephen Levine. It's an experiment of what it would feel like to live a full year like it's your last. It's made me a lot more conscious of how I feel and why I feel it. It has also encouraged me to have a little more compassion and patience for others, and most of all, myself. It's pretty awesome so far, and I'm only on Day 4. I highly recommend it if you're the touchy-feely, emotionally-deep type who likes getting in touch with your inner self. Or if you just wanna try something new.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Grades (and other stuff)
Grades are in! They weren't straight A's (as I had so often fantasized over winter break), but I got at least one A and no B-'s or C's. Plus, I got an awesome grade on my graded memo :) I've been trying not to dwell on the grades I am less pleased with, but I was finding it difficult to not be a little disappointed. One walk around our neighborhood in Santa Monica and all that disappointment just disappeared. With so many people homeless and in need, I realized that if my biggest problem is having a couple of B's on my transcript, I don't have problems at all. I'm just a crybaby with control issues.
Over winter break, we started a new project to help the homeless in our community. We are collecting thermoses (sp?) and filling them with hot tea. We pack a little snack bag to go with it and give our care package to a person in need in our 'hood. Our first new friend, Daniel, was teary-eyed and thankful when we presented him with the thermos and bag. If you have a thermos you'd like to donate, please let me know. We will make sure it gets used by someone in need.
Hope 2010 is good to you and yours :)
Over winter break, we started a new project to help the homeless in our community. We are collecting thermoses (sp?) and filling them with hot tea. We pack a little snack bag to go with it and give our care package to a person in need in our 'hood. Our first new friend, Daniel, was teary-eyed and thankful when we presented him with the thermos and bag. If you have a thermos you'd like to donate, please let me know. We will make sure it gets used by someone in need.
Hope 2010 is good to you and yours :)
Sunday, November 8, 2009
amber is the color of your energy
...you've launched a thousand ships in my heart.
i think of myself in comparison to my law school counterparts and i am so dramatic. i swear. it's a little ludicrous. but, there's a person who can bring me back down from the heights of ridiculous (or sometimes he lets me stay there for a while, just to pacify my pain). he can talk me down from the mental ledge that stands between me and most emotional outbursts. he stays calm in the eye of the storm and it helps me stay focused (or distracts me when i need it - and he wakes me up from my ten minute naps).
this is an ode to my law school hero - nick lamb. thanks friend. you're kind of okay.
i think of myself in comparison to my law school counterparts and i am so dramatic. i swear. it's a little ludicrous. but, there's a person who can bring me back down from the heights of ridiculous (or sometimes he lets me stay there for a while, just to pacify my pain). he can talk me down from the mental ledge that stands between me and most emotional outbursts. he stays calm in the eye of the storm and it helps me stay focused (or distracts me when i need it - and he wakes me up from my ten minute naps).
this is an ode to my law school hero - nick lamb. thanks friend. you're kind of okay.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
laziest (but still good) breakfast ever
step 1: buy canadian bacon (nice b/c it is already cooked and perfectly shaped for our purposes), eggs, and extra crisp english muffins, and american cheese
step 2: wake up in the morning feeling super lazy and wanting something warm to eat
step 3: put a split muffin in toaster, beat an egg then put it in a coffee cup that's been sprayed with PAM, put said coffee cup in microwave and heat for 40 seconds exactly. by this time, your muffin should be about done. layer the canadian bacon and american cheese on one side of the muffin and turn the coffee cup over onto your little muffin mountain of breakfast goodness. top with other half of muffin and you've got yourself a cute little breakfast sandwich.
oh yeah, and put that coffee cup in the dishwasher.
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